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Still trying to decide if this will be my primary blog or not.
Go forth and explore, friends :D

Sitting in my room and attempting to start on readings for school again; it's strange being inside on a sunday night, thinking back I think I've either been travelling or having potluck or going out for almost every weekend night without fail.

I like having the time to sort things out though, hmm. After this week I shall have excuses to get out, and do stuff again :D

Still in love with the snow. Everything looks so tranquil, and beautifully clean. 

SNOW SNOW SNOW~ 
Mood has lifted tremendously even though I'm in the midst of essay deadlines now.
This is why:
1. Wholesome chinese food from CNY celebrations!
2. Epic snowball fights and failed attempts at making snowmen.
3. Skype sessions with friends remind me how much love I'm still receiving all the way from Singapore <3

Love the way the snowflakes blanket the entire school grounds, the lake which has completely frozen over, the way everyone seems to be able to become happier for no reason at all.

500 words more to go and The XX is on now. I love the repetitive monotony of it. 

watch things on VCRs with me/And talk about big love.

P.S. I'm giving snow a new tag because it deserves one all on its own :D

Trying to juggle approaching essay deadlines, waiting in frustration for important documents and in the middle of sorting out lengthy applications, room is cold and I am perpetually hungry/sleepy/sneezing.

I am so NOT complaining. heh.

It makes me feel sad when I see people blundering through life this way; living it as if it were an obligation, doing things because they are the requisite tasks.

You are only happy by your own definition, which is what I think.

One day I was living silently in a personal hell, without anyone to tell what I felt, without even knowing that the feelings I had were possible to have; and then one day I was not living like that at all. I had begun to see the past as something like this: there is a line; you can draw it yourself, or sometimes it gets drawn for you; either way, there it is, your past, a collection of people you used to be and things you used to do. Your past is the person you no longer are, the situations you are no longer in.

Been some time since I read something like Jamaica Kincaid's Lucy.There are all these strange moments of uncommon resonances that speak to something deep inside you, dreams and fears and feelings you have encountered before somewhere, sometime in your life, but never had the chance to articulate. The retrospective way in which she writes; the idea that you belong to yourself and no one else, an individual separate from all the other passing faces in a life, is somehow encouraging, comforting, reminding me of the comforting lull of Murakami's words. 

It was January again; the world was thin and pale and cold again; I was making a new beginning again.

Strange sense of curious optimism about the days and months and years that stretch out before me. Knowing that there are new places I would go, people that would meet, story after story stretching out before me. Anything and everything that has happened so far is beautiful, just because it has happened.

In a less contemplative note, my flat has won the Clean Kitchen Award HAHAHA (and it comes with a cash prize). TEEHEE. Small minor things like that somehow change the mood of a day. This entire week is filled with panto rehearsals, and I keep thinking back to the old days of productions, missing the buzz of the theatre and the solemnity of the moment just before the curtains part. It has only been a little more than a week back at school but it has been so positively hectic :D Easing comfortably into this term...and hopefully it will last (:

Late night steamboat tomorrow :33 I get so pleasantly surprised when people know about CNY here, and ask me about it.

Dear Sin



Congratulations. I am pleased to tell you that you have been successful at
interview for the Worldwide exchange to California.

Feeling mixed but excited!!

I actually quite like the new lecture schedule...Now that we've got a few more contact hours it finally feels as if we are getting busy with school, and it's fun to hang around campus or disturb Nicholas in his big (and morbid) Langwith room in between lectures! Being Totoro at the frisbee social last Saturday and discovering that he's a fellow fan makes me feel like my love for Studio Ghibli is getting rekindled all over again. I LOVE STUDIO GHIBLI <3 

Attended a Yorker meeting today and felt like it could be a place where I could stay on at, and learn loads at somehow. I guess I like it not only because it offers a platform to hone journ skills again but also because of the way it is structured as a company, so you can get some insight into how a media organisation actually functions and not just the writing and journalism side of it. It was this relationship that kind of interested me at work last year as well, besides just the whole issue of getting stories out. 

CHINESE NEW YEAR IS COMING. It will be different but I am still looking forward to potluck and I totally, totally appreciate something as simple as bak kwa or shrimp paste rolls now. The imminent approach of a festive season also makes you feel like there is something for you to look forward to...

UC interview over and done with; all I can do now is not to keep my hopes up but don't push them away either. Cross fingers cross fingers again; it's always the same process, I've forgotten how the interview process always makes you feel-the sense of trepidation, the need to ease your frazzled nerves as you sit on the chair outside the room, waiting for your turn, the inexplicable sense of solidarity (yet underlined by an acknowledgement of mutual competitiveness beneath the surface) with the complete strangers who are waiting for their turns before, and after you.

I met a few helpful/nice people today; masters students from the human rights course who were at the RAY induction training, a dude who is apparently the dean of scholars here who pointed me in the right direction for the interview...feel slightly mortified when I recall the fact that I casually asked him, so are you guys students? zzz I am really bad at stuff like this.

Recent food obssessions: Muller yoghurt (in all forms) and toast. Food makes me so happy it is getting a little retarded.

1. I cut my hair and got myself bangs.
2. Made baked rice for Judith and I for lunch.
3. Got my shortlist email for the UC exchange program.

Alsooooo Bryan brought bak kwa and other CNY stuff out while I was at the G block kitchen yesterday :D Never imagined that something so minor would make me satisfied. Alex and the other people in the flat tried it out too while we were trying to sort out the British political system from them; cultural exchange much heh. 

Mixed feelings about the exchange program but it'll be great whichever way it goes. Would be really exciting to step into a new country, completely immerse myself in that environment and try out a different system of learning and get exposure. Would be really nice and comforting to stay at York for a second year and become even more familiar with everything that is going on around here as well, not to mention meeting the new juniors!

Cooking is slowly becoming a form of therapy; unconsciously I think certain foods have come to remind me of different people and moments in my life as well. It sounds a little intense but okay, it's just a productive form of distraction from more pressing things that I've got to accomplish...like revising Arabic and finishing my reading of Othello.

I really need more time to read for leisure. Talking about books and some SG lit/theatre stuff with Yishu yesterday reminded me all over again; I miss the feeling of watching/reading something so good you just can't help but to feel like you are going to cry. 

Following weeks are busy with panto rehearsals and frisbee trainings (that I hopefully will be able to attend); also trying to start contributing more to media like The Yorker! Every day passes by, really really fast.

Also just wanted to say that I really appreciated seeing cards and letters waiting for me when I got back to York. Kaili posted this and this probably says it all-

You can kiss your family and friends goodbye and put miles between you, but at the same time you carry them with you in your heart, your mind, your stomach, because you do not just live in a world but a world lives in you.

Whenever there are moments when I feel like I need some direction or strength it is always these words and memories that I go back to, and make me see the world in a beautiful light :D

Oh, and I also got a tumblr to dump quotes and photos that I liked on:
wallflowery.tumblr.com :D Finally jumped on the bandwagon evelyn!!